It all started with symptoms of Agoraphobia. At the end of adolescence, it became evident it was more comfortable for me to act has a recluse. What came later, are a basket of trauma, due to my agitated passage in the psychiatric system. Crazy nurses have chocked me, I have been sedated, put in isolation, tied to a bed repeatedly, other patients would beat me up. My distrust in psychiatric care is growing as much as the intensity of my bad dreams about the hospital. The strong fear of the outdoors surged at the same time with a serious anxiety problem. So, I tucked in. Years later, even with treatment, I make a trip to the supermarket twice a month. And I visit my nurse once every three weeks, that is it. In the Summertime, I might take a walk around the block in the middle of the night. When the whole city is sleeping, I usually stay awake. Because even from the inside of my home, I can ultimately feel safe.